Monday, July 29, 2013

Carlos Danger meets Robbin' Hood

“Halt, who goes there,” Carlos Danger shouted in the cold night air. “Between the chill and the shrill sound of the jangling coins the equipment is wilting.”

“Tis only me,” replied Robbin’ Hood. “I’m taking from the rich and giving to me. They’re showering me with money. My cup runneth over.”

“I don’t give a tweet about money. Ya know any hot babes who want a little sexting fun? That’s what I give a tweet about,” Carlos firmly replied. "Besides, I thought Robin Hood took from the rich and gave to the poor."
Bob McDonnell flashes
his Rolex.
I won't post what
Anthony Weiner flashes.

“Sexting?” Why waste your time on that? It won’t buy you clothes, watches, or other nice things. I agree with The Cooch... time for us Republicans to ban that nasty stuff. Besides, I gotta agree with my compatriot and the next governor, if ya gotta pick your sin, money lasts longer than poon tang.

“Ah Robbin’, your wife looks really hot in those new clothes from Nordstrom, Macy’s, Saks Fifth Avenue, and Lord & Taylor. What’s her cell number? Maybe we can exchange a few pics.”

“Oh, Carlos,” shouted Robbin, “leave my wife outta it you perverted Democrat.”

“Okay Robbin’, forget it. Five kids? She’s been rode hard and put away wet... way past a prime weiner like mine. But whatta ya gonna do with all your cash?”

“I’m just trying to get to the end of my term without being tarred and feathered and with my bank account stuffed. Plus, I like this watch! These damn Virginians are getting pissed off over nothing. Don't they realize that everyone does it? They'll really be mad when they find out taxpayers are picking up my legal bills.”

“Yeah, I know what you mean. The national media is trying to run me out of the mayoral race just cause I want to stuff something... if ya know what I mean.

Three months later...

“Well, Robbin’, guess we’re cooked goose. Run outta the Big Apple and the Capitol of the Confederacy. What do the people not understand about the privileges of power? Why don’t we hang together for a while and plot our comebacks? After all, they forgave Sanford and Vitter.

“Carlos, you are so right... the voters don’t have any understanding of the sacrifices we make doing the people’s business. They seem to forgive sex scandals, but no so much when money is involved....! Hey, maybe my friend, The Cooch, will let us stay with him Smith Mountain Lake for a week or so. Freebie from his (and my) friends with deep pockets. Sweet place. Besides, he's got nothin' to do now that he got his butt kicked.”

“Any hot women around the lake?”

“I’ll flash the Rolex!”

“I’ll flash my junk!”

"Well that's okay but, The Cooch won't look at any boobs."

"Party pooper."

A short spoof of political corruption starring:
  • Anthony Weiner as Carlos Danger
  • Bob McDonnell as Robbin’ Hood

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

chicken crap comparing weiner to mcdonnell